Accepting Defeat or accepting my limitations?

My story of standing down from senior middle leadership.

Respected colleague: “Sarah, why don’t you take the summer holidays to think about this, you are so good at your job, it would be an utter shame to lose you from the team”.

Me: “I really respect your honesty and kindness but for me, this is a matter of life or no life.”

And there it was, suddenly I had resigned from my post as head of key stage three. I say, suddenly, however this is purely for dramatic effect. There was no impulsiveness or spontaneity in making this decision. The decision was made by my mind and body calling out for me to stop. The pace and depth of my work had finally taken its toll. I wasn’t enjoying the role anymore and I felt that I had to think about my priorities. The main crux of my decision was my two year old daughter and husband. They were not to blame for the bad days, the workload I was nearly killing myself to complete and the various meltdowns I experienced because of the stress I put myself under, to be perfect. All along I was told, it is just a job but teaching isn’t, it is a vocation and can’t be treated as if it is a means to an end. I spent months kidding myself and months of hard times including rejection from others and rejection by myself.

There is such a taboo attached to our mental health. Knowledge of your ‘state of mental health’ in the wrong hands, can be dangerous. The right people will detect there is a problem and support you, but when it isn’t handled so compassionately, there is the ‘rub’. I am only human. I can only do so much. We should all realise our limitations as then maybe we can all sit back a bit more and enjoy the life that we are ensconced in but often miss. I think this is why we all take so many pictures because in the blink of an eye ten years has passed and you are seeing lines and wrinkles and forgetting things. However, I need to stop taking as many and actually enjoy being in the moment. Everything has to stop being about lists and checklist and to-do’s and everything has to be all about one priority list which should be entitled: “Life”.

I feel, since leaving my precious role as head of key stage three, so sad but relieved and suddenly younger and more resilient. I don’t feel my resilience is just there to endure the hard times but that is is there for me to enjoy the good times. Now I am a teacher of English once again, I have this room to breathe and suddenly my career is clear. I enjoy most days, some I am tired, some are a little exasperating but mostly they are great. I am no longer drawn into negativity and misery, now I report home that things are good and the day is going well. I have started printing off interesting articles for my students and for my consumption. I have started reading my books again. My students and I are enjoying lots of interesting and sometimes profound discussions and conversations and once again I feel inspirational. I no longer drag around some dead weight of misery, insecurity and paranoia. I smile. I dress up. I enjoy funny conversations and jokes with my colleagues. I come home smiling to my husband and little girl. They are glad Sarah is back. This profession that I nearly allowed myself to be bullied out of, has become golden once again; even with the marking!

A colleague said to me the other day “gosh I thought you were lovely and bubbly but this you, this old you that you say is back, is lovely”. This made my day. But I have to thank my husband for being so understanding and encouraging me to remember that I am fabulous at my job and all the other things that he loves me for, unconditionally. I have to thank the member of staff at school who listened to me and didn’t discourage my resignation because she knew that something was going to give and she didn’t want that to be my life.

I am not ashamed to say that I sunk into some really dark days. However, I became the rainbow in my family’s dark cloud and now life is good again. Thank you to God for believing in me and for my husband and my daughter and my life. I will never take them or it for granted ever again. On this day of remembrance, life is not a right it is a privilege. Amen.

Sarah Williams – Inspiring young women to enjoy their career journey, whatever the direction and wherever the destination – my workshop @Womened ‘Festival of Leadership’ Saturday 9 June 2018 @ Warwick University

She is, like everyone else, born with the desire to self-determine her journey into her future. She is well-equipped to develop her own reactions, thoughts and understanding. She is wonderfully raised by her eager and dedicated parents and she, because of this will do wonderfully in life. More importantly she will do wonderfully for those around her and those whom she meets on the way.

She is my daughter and she is my student. She is no different to the students who have passed through my classroom doors over the last fifteen years. For she will be taught one day by, amazing and inspirational teachers and my students are daughters and deserve the same as mine.

The journey of a woman should be one of wonder and imagination and of endless opportunity. This should also be the case for a man too. There are so many divides, so many obstacles and distinctions made by people, institutions, governance and society that we, as teachers have to ensure that we don’t build up anymore. Our role should be in helping our students to make the right choices so that they don’t have to face any obstructions in their life journey and more specifically to what I am talking about today, their educational journey. There will be obstacles but in being equipped and prepared for these obstacles and their subsequent adversity, a young woman is always going to be set upon the best path.

Education and careers are very much like mazes. They have many avenues to explore, but many dead ends at the same time. There is a route out, but along the way some routes become cut off and others make you think that you are getting somewhere, but then you end up in the same place as before. Exasperating as the analogy sounds, it is true. But my question is why can’t we enable the best route out of the maze onto a career path that will then positively impact on others thus creating an ever-changing cycle of inspiration and energy? We can do this with our students and thousands of us are. We have to believe in this as how are we then going to inspire our students to?

My career path is all over the place. I was in all of the bottom sets at school and was constantly being reminded that I ‘wasn’t academic’. However, it only took the words of one inspirational tutor, outside of sixth form, to show me how wonderful learning could be. I got ‘bitten by the bug’ and I have never looked back. I have a long way to go but I have also come so far. This ‘wisdom’ if you like is cliched, however it is pertinent to me and has shaped and influenced the way I teach today. I will never, ever berate a student so that their journey suddenly becomes stunted and they feel they have nowhere to go. Inspire them and make them see what they mean to you and how they will do well as long as they have the right mindset and support.

A student I taught some years ago now writes for the Independent, has been a UN Ambassador and now reads Public Policy at Oxford. She is a trail blazer. All students deserve to be set off as a ‘trail blazer’. Education is a massive responsibility and should not be coveted for oneself, it should be imparted and spread through some sort of osmosis.

So, can we continue to inspire the young women that we teach into believing that the career journey that they wish to embark on, is realistic? 

Starting out:Invest to be best: 

Invest time in all of your students – people can always tell if you’ve just ‘fit them in’ or actually made time for them. This pays dividends.

Throughout the route: Make your subject holistic. 

Don’t always stick to the letter of the scheme of work or lesson, explode it and don’t be afraid to go off at a tangent sometimes. One of my students once said that I make the learning ‘colourful’ because I drew into my teaching lots of different subjects and ideas and attitudes.

At every junction: Question not interrogate:

Always question your students as to where they want to go. What does their career journey look like at year seven or now at year 11.

At the islands: Eradicate fear:

Get their fears and insecurities out in the open. Use positive and powerful rhetoric that is loaded and not empty. Always reinforce how they can follow whatever career path that they desire, as long as they are committed and determined and are ready to accept their strengths and weaknesses and how they can grow as people.

Mirror Signal Manoeuvre: Mantras and hashtags – developing inspirational language:

My year 11’s this year were titled the #geeniners and the #sorority sistersofsuccess. It was written on my board and on their books and they ‘hash-tagged’ until they were blue in the face about the literature texts and things they were interested in.

Finding the fourth gear: Getting clever with motivation:

We developed as a class our own ‘chemical’ equation for English success: Eng Rr=CmpWrtr (An engaged reader is a compelling writer). We always started our lessons with this ‘mantra’ and it stuck. But, the language we used all of the time was powerful, punchy, engaging and at times very, very competitive. Students have to be ready for the real world and constant competition. They always loved to say: “it’s fight or flight miss!”

Considering your direction – what kind of person do you want to be? Instilling integrity:

Honesty and openness – this is something that I give to all of my students, whatever their age. They have to understand that integrity is everything and that a first class honours degree is no use if you aren’t kind to people and want to help them.

Reverse gear and remembering why you got to this destination as a teacher:Student inspires teacher:

One of my students emailed me recently and wrote: “I really hope you get what you want out of life and you deserve everything that is amazing in this whole entire world and we’ve always got your back…” This young lady wants to adopt a Syrian child when she is older. She constantly thinks about what she can do to make the world a better place and how she can afford others less fortunate that her, education, advice, love and support. She is only 15, some might say she is naive, however she knows that she can achieve anything if she really puts her mind to it. She doesn’t find English easy but in all her mocks she has been attaining a G6 and G7, because she believes in herself.

Finally, one of my students who has felt that she hasn’t the confidence to go for things in life, delivered one of the most inspiring speeches that I have ever heard. She was powerful, assertive and inspiring. She will go far. She has the ‘X-Factor’. I will certainly miss teaching her and her peers. She will lead herself onto a path of prosperity and happiness.

So, what I am trying to contribute here today, as part of the festival of leadership is that we all can lead by example, no matter what our role or position, we can inspire in others the will and want and desire to self-determine where we are going. 

Can women in education really have it all?

I ask myself this question when I know that I am at my most vulnerable. I want to aspire to senior leadership. There, I have put it out there, finally. It was not easy. I know this blog will be shared via my Twitter account and I know then that a lot more people will find out what I am personally going through. This is my inner-conflict.

I read an article in the TES where a head from a prestigious girl’s school remarked how women aren’t accessing leadership positions because of a lack of self-confidence and how they feel they won’t apply because they don’t feel they are 100% qualified for the role and this is how I feel. Yet, there are many ‘getting on’. It may be they haven’t had a baby. There. It. Is. To quote Shakespeare: “ay, there’s the rub”. All I know is that I have worked damn hard over the last ten years to really put myself ‘on the map’. Surely, I can be a mother and a leader at the same time?

My daughter was born in September 2015 and my world changed. I felt and still feel so overwhelmed with love for her and her Dad. My husband and I decided that because I had a more senior role that it would be more beneficial to our daughter for him to leave his job and look after her full time and I would return to my full time, middle leadership role. I had 22 weeks off with my daughter. I returned with all guns blazing. I was determined to prove that us women and mothers could have it all. Sadly I missed her so much and I wanted to get back to her and my husband as soon as I could after a day in my job, which isn’t a job to me, it is my vocation. But I felt pressure to stay and yes I completely agree that senior leadership means undirected hours and more of a personal commitment and although I worked extremely hard for my students and even now, after 15 years of teaching I still work four hours a night and at weekends, I still felt that it wasn’t enough. My dedication is still very much within me and will never leave me. My friends who have had children have gone part time and their attitudes have completely changed to their role as a teacher. Mine hasn’t. I am still full-time, out of choice and I as I said before my ATL hasn’t altered one iota. Don’t get me wrong, I am not aiming my discussion at anyone or any establishment in particular, these are just my views and my views alone.

So, I gave up on senior leadership. However when I spoke at the WomenEd conference in November 2017, I listened to two primary head teachers talk of their job share and how they both had their children in the first few years of their senior leadership journey. I just couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I thought it was fantastic and I wondered why it wasn’t happening everywhere. I have been applying for demotions because I have lost my confidence and yet I write and blog and write my own revision materials, I plan and organise and think and change the way I do things until I am blue in the face. So why am I under-selling myself? I have so much to offer.

My journey goes on. I have the responsibility of being an aspirational woman for the most important female in my life, my daughter. I also have the responsibility of respecting my husband in giving up his job to look after our daughter and accommodate and afford me the career that I am determined I will carve out for myself and my family.

And so my positive affirmation for the year is: I will not be held back because I am a woman and a mother. I will not allow others to hold me back. I will source opportunities for myself and I will lead by example. I will inspire others. I will coach and mentor others who need my help. I will always be a Feminist and I will continue to be proud of myself. I will always love who I am. I will not apologise for asking for help or for saying thank you. I will not use others. I will contribute not compete. I will continue to address my flaws and be a better person.

Unseen poetry – why I think it is a fabulous section in the literature paper.

So last week and this week I have focused my year 11’s revision on section C of Paper two, the ‘unseen poetry’. Now for those of you who are less familiar with this section, students are given two ‘unseen’ poems and for the first question they have to read poem one and comment on the theme of the poem via constructing an answer that is part AO1 and AO2 and is worth 24 marks. The second poem is then compared with the first and is only focused on AO2 and is worth 8 marks. So, actually the unseen poetry is worth more than the anthology poetry, maybe because they think it is more difficult? I honestly think it is one of the best ways of achieving 32 marks, as the poems are in front of you and you simply need to apply a good level of subjectivity and craft those very much desired ‘conceptualised responses’. Easy for me to say that this is ‘easy’, but I really really think it’s easy. ‘Easy peasy lemon squeezy’. In fact.

So what is my approach then and why, in my infinite wisdom do I protest its simplicity? Well what I did was give my students a photograph each (it was colour because I get so bloody annoyed that students don’t seem to be worth a colour copy!) and they have to ‘read’ it just as they would a piece of text. I have taught them how to ‘read’ an image (of which I will explain in a bit). I have begged them to go and ‘read’ a Pre-Raphaelite or two at Birmingham Museum and Art Gallery, alas to no avail but I won’t give in as I want them to develop an independence of mind and perception and see the beauty in these paintings, but a beauty of their own understanding. So once they have had a good look into the picture, they then have to develop a mind map or word bank of their ideas, their thoughts and feelings and the connotations of the colours and shapes. The idea is that they quickly develop their own concept of the picture and they then prove to themselves that if they can read an image then they can read a text.

The response was revelatory at the least. ‘Miss, the book covered in grass and divided by the waterfall suggests the dichotomy of nature and conservation. It shows me that the two are in bitter turmoil and that the water divides the land like Moses parting the Red Sea, paving a way for freedom.’ You just can’t make it up!

So, they then move on to reading the unseen poems that I have chosen for them, in last week’s case, ‘Mirror’ by Sylvia Plath and ‘Warning’ by Jenny Joseph and I developed some questions based on both poems. Question one: ‘How does the poet use language to present her feelings about growing old?’ Question two: ‘How do both writers present the theme of growing old in their poems?’ Students had to ‘paragraph map’ (break the question down) the questions and do this quickly. The whole foundation of this revision for me was to get students straight into the learning and find answers and information to develop top responses. They are always learning how to do this now and it is working. Most students had improved by one grade in the recent mock. They are starting to believe that they can do it. Look at it as the ‘nike’ effect.

The study of these poems culminated in some timed writing and then self and peer assessment using a sample mark scheme. They are a little more generous than I am, but the marks awarded are justified and I am not urinating on their proverbial bonfires at this stage, a little boosting is good for the soul and for the self-esteem, that some massively lack.

Overall it was a good exercise and has really helped with approaching the unseen poetry as well as how to quickly get organised and focused so that the majority of the time remaining can be used effectively.

I will keep going and my ‘wheel reinvention’ is not a disadvantage here but an advantage, as ‘unseen’ seems more enjoyable because they have learned how to read something that isn’t a text, as if it were a text. The outcome being: understanding, organisation of thoughts and well-constructed responses.

I also developed my own ‘scientific’ English equation for my students for their writing:

Eng Rr = Com Wr – an engaged reader makes a compelling writer. Okay it isn’t e equals m c squared, but the students like its playfulness and they are all remembering it. Who’d have thought eh! Watch this space for how I teach the above equation. Speak soon. Vocabulary out. 🤓🤓😂😂

Me applying for a place on a course in a top university, are you kidding? A short blog for a Monday evening.

No, I am being completely honest.

I am being the Beyoncé of who I want to be and I really like it. I don’t know if I will get a place, but I will damn well make sure that I give myself the best chance, for my family and for me and for my students. My year 11 students were so chuffed for me today and they champion me as much as I champion them. I am so excited about life-long learning for me and for them and if this works out, maybe a doctorate is on the horizon.

The Sky is the limit. How true that is.

The independence of independence.

The independence of independence. @SarahLWilliam11

Sarah Williams is Head of Key Stage Three at an academy in Birmingham. She is now a published children’s author and has recently spoken at a WomenEd conference on her project T for Transition and has recently achieved the NPQSL. She is an up and coming writer and is passionate about really good teaching.

Independent learning is something that has to be instilled in a student from the moment they interact with you. Independent learning affords them independence in everything that they do and will do.

Some might think that if the above is promoted far too much then surely there will be no requirement for teachers? I suppose soon everyone will be taken over by robots and we will all grow gills and live under the sea! It is farcical to suggest that students don’t need teachers. Without my teacher telling me how fabulous learning is and how getting an education will open so many doors for me, I wouldn’t be where I am today. I am so proud of what I have achieved considering I was told I was ‘not academic’.

So, why independent learning? Well students have to take ownership in everything that they do. The other day a student asked me when I was going to give her a study guide for her to revise from. I was really annoyed, if I am honest, I told her that I wouldn’t waste her time and that if she were to be more proactive with her learning in my lessons and take notes and question things for herself then she would not need a study guide. I am confident that I can teach and do it really well and students need to know this about you so that they have the confidence to really be independent of you and not hang off your coattails, so to speak.

A few years ago I piloted a little scheme with some year eight students whereby they would have to independently find a topic that they were interested in that was linked to the scheme of work and then teach a lesson. They would independently research and they would independently work within their team and independently contribute to the group effort and teach the class about their chosen topic. The results were wonderful and my students were really excited about ‘being the teacher’ that they created a lesson plan, learning resources and even set home study and sanctions! It was lovely to experience and they all achieved a good grade and more importantly, bags and bags of self-confidence and confidence about English as a subject.

Over the years I have threaded independent learning throughout my teaching as I always advocate students ‘doing it for themselves’. They have to don’t they? Surely they know that eventually they are on their own. It is better to learn to be independent as young as you can be. My own daughter who is two and a half plays independently and her incessant questioning of ‘what’ and ‘why’ is her way of gaining independence and she loves it. She loves pretending and she loves discovering and this is something that needs to be instilled and maintained in all of our students as we can’t be anything more than a voice in their heads when they sit exams and when they go for interviews. Moreover, that ‘voice’ has to be positive and resonate and make them believe that they can do it on their own.

Why I love being a teacher…

Some teacher folks may even exclaim here ‘What you love being a teacher, are you mad?’ My reply is always ‘Oh God yes.’ This career that I have carved out for myself has been created from my love and zeal for teaching and learning. I got into this profession for the sole purpose to do something good with my own education. I saw no choice but to see this career as more of a vocation or even a calling. You don’t get into teaching half-heartedly, or at least I hope you don’t as quite frankly, if you are not going to give it your best shot then you are doing a disservice to those children sat in front of you, waiting with bated breath. And, remember, they are someone else’s children and you have a duty of care to their welfare and the education that you provide them with.

A trainee teacher shared on her Twitter a few days ago a really insightful nugget of wisdom: ‘If you’re not trying to be the Beyoncé of what you do, what are you really doing?’ I thought this was fantastic and it really made me sit up an think again for the millionth time this week. I shared this with my students and they agreed, although they are not all fans of B they certainly got the logic. I know I teach them like the Beyoncé of the classroom. I know this and I have the conviction of this ethos. You cannot get into teaching and do things nonchalantly without due care or attention. I appreciate that this sounds like something your driving instructor may say to you, but I know teachers who have this attitude, as it is certainly not an approach. This lackadaisical attitude is why many leave the profession or don’t even get as far as applying; because others put them off with their negative approach. These really are ‘those who can’t teach’ because I can tell you, I am very fortunate to tell you that the majority of teachers I have worked with and aspired to be like are ‘those who can teach’ because they can do everything, as well as teach. They are singers, dancers, actors, personal assistants, scientists etc and they channel their experience into everything that they do and this is why they are the Beyoncé’s of their classroom.

I often find myself saying “it isn’t hard Sarah, really, is it?” And I always answer myself back; the second sign of madness. But I always go to bed and I question myself that night as to whether I have earned my salary for the day and I always know and feel that I have. My students progress and they are heading towards excellent grades, whether top or bottom set, yes. However my main aim is that those who I pass, those who I interact with, are happy. Their happiness is gained through their experience at school and I make sure that they enjoy what they are doing and if not, we do something about it.

So, as I have famously gone off on one of my tangents, I have to go back to the statement ‘why I love, adore teaching’ and my answer to this is because it is bloody brilliant. Yes, exhausting and stressful at times. If I sat in the staff room and didn’t hear or see stressed out teachers I would think I was in some strange utopia, however I don’t. We do talk about our increasing workload, but we do talk about our successes and you can’t hide this from new teachers, they can’t afford to have reality sugar-coated because they won’t afford themselves career longevity and then they will become disillusioned and maybe disenfranchised. I was once a new teacher and I thanked my lucky stars for the real voices of teaching, those who were doing it and doing it well, but weren’t afraid to say that things got sticky at times and they longed for a barista position or a job at Asda; I too have thought the same when marking books for eight hours. These real voices helped me stay and see how things went. I am so grateful to them and so now my responsibility is to spread positivity and represent hard working teachers who deserve their weight in gold. Get into teaching, you will never look back.

Community libraries facilitate community. A letter I recently wrote to the editor of Great Barr Observer.

Dear editor,

I just wanted to express my gratitude and love for Great Barr Library.

This place is by far the best community library that my family and I have ever visited and used. Our daughter, who is now two and a half, afforded us the opportunity to frequent the library more, when we moved into Great Barr in 2016. It is just around the corner and easy to visit.

So far, as well as take books out on loan, we have enrolled her in Music Magic as well as she has visited Story-time. As well as this she has experienced the Mr Popple Magic show twice, the animal man, the Pirate story-telling and Father Christmas. These have been lovely experiences for her and my husband and I and we are always welcomed and treated very kindly by the staff at the library. There are so many other activities and clubs for adults too and there are always plenty of people around when we visit.

Community libraries are part of the important landscape that constitute our societies and as well as providing a place for people to go who don’t have much money or simply deserve some nice company, they bring Birmingham’s diverse communities together. If we were to ever lose Great Barr or any of our community libraries, I feel it would mark the last bastion for local communities being a community family and remembering what community actually means. The ‘local library’ or ‘community library’ facilitates more than borrowing a book or two, it means people are reaching out and letting people know that they are not alone.

Yours faithfully,

Mrs Sarah Williams, Great Barr.

T for Transition. A experiential research project that is all-consuming in a positive way. Watch this space!

‘T for Transition’. Living the NPQSL dream! @SarahLWilliam11

Hi there everyone, I am so pleased that my article has been published in the issue 46 UK ED Chat Magazine. I love writing and I hope that what I have to say is interesting and more importantly useful to your profession. All the best, Sarah.

Mrs S Williams

T is for Transition. T is for trying to tantalise the academic taste-buds of our year six students ready for year seven. T is for creating tenacity in transition and induction and creating a pleasant pathway into secondary school.

So many of us can’t remember our transition because we were of generation who were told to ‘just get on with it!’. My ‘T for Transition’ was a ‘triadic cluster’ of : trepidation, terror and trembling knees. We were not cushioned by a gentle whoosh into following a timetable and understanding the first lesson. It was more like a firm push or even kick by the class bully into anticipating a day of confusion, intimidation and boring ‘old-school’ teacher’s rhetoric.

But, now I lead on Transition for my academy, T really has to be for Transition.

I am currently working on a policy document whereby I can measure and mark the…

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